It was a two part quiz, 10 or so yes/no questions and 10 or so how deep does this run question (how many times a day do you do it, how dibilitating is it?)
The said a score of 12 & Up could mean that O.C.D. is likely and that you should see a physician.
I scored a 40.
I laughed out loud. I am thinking I don't have one piece of O.C.D. I got the whole thing. I thought back to these two people on the show I watched last night, and the very specific issues they had. He had a germ thing, She was a checker/hoarder. What happens when you have nearly every possible one? I have a germ thing, I check, I hoard, I have phobias, I pull my hair (eyebrows mostly for me - I am very obsessive about plucking them), I repeat things 100s of times. I have bath time, bathroom, bed time, meal time, study time, church time, driving, laundry, mailbox rituals that must be done exactly has necessary or I will be a total wreck, something bad might happen. And even if you prove to me that nothing AWFUL will happen if I do not do them, my head is in EXPLOSION MODE because I couldn't complete them. So I am going to be interested to see how deep they go OBSESSED, or will it be the one hit wonders (maybe two or three hits, ok? LOL!) Or will they try and deal with someone like me???
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Fabrics & the Pink Paisley Rag'd Bag
Remember the Rag'd Purse from yesterday? Well I had to have one of my own, but finding my fabrics was a longer process. The bag from yesterday had 4 fabrics all from a coordinating collection at Hobby Lobby, and then ONE fabric from a local store - YES the Peacock feathers and the bold floral squares are both cut from the same piece of fabric!!! Those two squares added the splash I was looking for, but my bag didn't come together as easily.
These are the five fabrics used in my Pink Paisley Rag'd Bag
I started with the Pink Medallions on the left end, and the Pink w/ Black Paisleys on the right end. One day in Hobby Lobby those two fabrics just drew me in and I HAD to have them. But they lacked something to tie them together. There was a bit of black in the Pink Medallion fabric, but not enough to make them truly "go" for my taste. So on a trip to JoAnn's with fabrics in tow, I found the Black & Green Geometric Fabric. It had a great little accent of HOT PINK, and tied my fabrics together. I still wasn't done. The tote that inspired my purse was made from a white solid cotten and one pattern! No way that was going to fly for my wild purse. But I found NOTHING else at JoAnn's.
A couple of days later my MIL told me she saw more at Hobby Lobby she thought coordinated, and I was in luck, they had put out more fabrics! There were probably 6 or 7 more fabrics that coordinated with the Pink Medallion, and that many more that coordinated with the Pink w/ Black Paisleys. I picked up bolt after bolt and laid them beside one another with my little quarter yards I had already bought. Finally picking two more fabrics from the Pink Medallion Line - a diaganol stripe and the White Medallion & Paisley. The White Medallion and Paisley is what tied it all together for me in the end. It had just enough black in it to make them all work. The diagonal stripe was really just for fill. :o)
And here it is my PINK PAISLEY RAG'D BAG!!!
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It is the same dimensions as the bag from yesterday, but I am using mine as a purse. So I would only change one THING! I would make it WIDER! LOL! And I did add an inner pocket to my bag to clip my cell phone to. I might even make a taller bag next time I do this for myself to make an even LARGER interior pocket.
So even if you think you can never put that many patterns together, TRY IT! If you walk into a store and find a piece of fabric or paper for that matter that really catches your eye - BUY IT! Carry it around with you until you find things to go with it, and you will be SURPRISED at what you find, if you are just willing to go outside the box!!!
Stay tuned, my mom has commissioned me to make one of these purses for HER VERY OWN, and I already purchased the fabrics and they are TOTALLY different than either of these first two bags!!! YOU WILL LOVE IT MOM!!!
These are the five fabrics used in my Pink Paisley Rag'd Bag
I started with the Pink Medallions on the left end, and the Pink w/ Black Paisleys on the right end. One day in Hobby Lobby those two fabrics just drew me in and I HAD to have them. But they lacked something to tie them together. There was a bit of black in the Pink Medallion fabric, but not enough to make them truly "go" for my taste. So on a trip to JoAnn's with fabrics in tow, I found the Black & Green Geometric Fabric. It had a great little accent of HOT PINK, and tied my fabrics together. I still wasn't done. The tote that inspired my purse was made from a white solid cotten and one pattern! No way that was going to fly for my wild purse. But I found NOTHING else at JoAnn's.
A couple of days later my MIL told me she saw more at Hobby Lobby she thought coordinated, and I was in luck, they had put out more fabrics! There were probably 6 or 7 more fabrics that coordinated with the Pink Medallion, and that many more that coordinated with the Pink w/ Black Paisleys. I picked up bolt after bolt and laid them beside one another with my little quarter yards I had already bought. Finally picking two more fabrics from the Pink Medallion Line - a diaganol stripe and the White Medallion & Paisley. The White Medallion and Paisley is what tied it all together for me in the end. It had just enough black in it to make them all work. The diagonal stripe was really just for fill. :o)
And here it is my PINK PAISLEY RAG'D BAG!!!
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339525780163872850" />It is the same dimensions as the bag from yesterday, but I am using mine as a purse. So I would only change one THING! I would make it WIDER! LOL! And I did add an inner pocket to my bag to clip my cell phone to. I might even make a taller bag next time I do this for myself to make an even LARGER interior pocket.
So even if you think you can never put that many patterns together, TRY IT! If you walk into a store and find a piece of fabric or paper for that matter that really catches your eye - BUY IT! Carry it around with you until you find things to go with it, and you will be SURPRISED at what you find, if you are just willing to go outside the box!!!
Stay tuned, my mom has commissioned me to make one of these purses for HER VERY OWN, and I already purchased the fabrics and they are TOTALLY different than either of these first two bags!!! YOU WILL LOVE IT MOM!!!
OBSESSED
There is a new show on A&E that I just finished watching, called "OBSESSED." It was really interesting to watch people with O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) going through it, since I have O.C.D. It was comforting in a way, since I have never had anyone TRULY understand what goes on in my head, because they can't. And frankly I haven't had many people TRY to understand. They think it is being ridiculous and dramatic and once they tire of it, they just choose to no longer be around me. My obsessions about what people think about me, or what they MIGHT be doing have cost me friendships. And as the guy said in the closing of the show - People with O.C.D. are lonely - so lonely, because we live in the prison of our minds and no one comes to visit because it is too MESSY and they cannot deal with it.
They are doing exposure therapy with the patients on "Obsessed", and that is not something I agree with. Do I have coping mechanisms, ABSOLUTELY! But even if one thing ceases to be a compulsive thought or action, it is replaced with another. So the germ-a-phob guy on the show who had no trash cans in his house, no towels in his bathroom was made to do this so his "therapist" could put a dirty tampon in his garbage can, and use his towels. Then he was made to hold the towels. And after 3 months of therapy she told him "You cannot control your thoughts, you cannot control you anxiety, but you can control how you react to it." ABSOLUTELY - I control how I react to mine all the time, I push pause, I stuff it till later - but it is GOING TO COME OUT SOMEHOW. It may not be in a visible way that anyone else can see, I'll just do it in secret. I did it for years, when something I did got to weird for people to deal with, or I was told it was annoying or to stop doing something, I just switched the compulsion. I did something in the presence of other people so they wouldn't see, to bide my time. Then when I was all alone and could be FREE - I did the compulsion I needed to do one, two, three or eight hours ago.
The lady on the show had lost her father in an accident, and she had held onto the clothes he died in. She hid them, only brought them out in private. I have so many things - SILLY THINGS - that I have held onto for years. They mean something to me, it might have been a kleenex used at a funeral or a various other things I am not even willing to share openly on this blog - and do I think OH MY GOODNESS why am I keeping this? YES!!!!!!!!! But I cannot throw it away - I might NEED IT.
My psychiatrist told me when I began to see him he did not believe in behavior modification therapy, that is what they are doing on this show. And now that I know more about my disease I understand why. I have been in therapy for FOUR YEARS learning coping mechanisms - these people did 12 weeks and they are suddenly CURED of their O.C.D.? All this type of therapy does is take away the physical manifesting of a person's anxiety. They may not check a lock 100 x's, they may not wash their hands 40 x's a day, but does that mean the thoughts are not there? I don't think so. Can people be "made" to do things, absolutely - but that doesn't take away the MENTAL torture they have in their minds. And I can tell you all day long that I am fine, great, wonderful - it doesn't mean that I am. I can tell you I am not anxious, and if I train myself to hide all the physical manifestations of anxiety - you won't know that I am anxious - there will be no facial expressions, not checking, no washing rituals - but it is still there - inside my head with no where to go. And just like a container that gets TOO full of water - eventually it will start spilling out - over the sides and EVERYWHERE. And honestly when those are put up feelings and anxiety and emotion - I have no idea how they will then manifest - NO CLUE.
I have a dear husband, who loves me enough to walk this journey with me, and I am incredibly lucky to have him. I had lunch dates, movies and shopping with friends. Parties to go to, had people over for cookouts and holidays. I don't have that anymore. And it is so sad to me that people could not deal with this craziness that is my life, but I understand it. I see how annoying my need to constantly be told that you are not mad at me would be frustrating. That my constant worry that I did something wrong would be annoying. That my need to do things a certain way would be tiring. That my obsession with you as my friend, would be suffocating. But it doesn't make it any easier that I spend most days alone, and no longer have those fun things to look forward to. I am just so thankful that Keith loves me and he is my best friend, and I am his - and that we love to do the same things and even the things we don't have in common we tolerate just to be with one another.
Final thought for the evening - just to try and get you to understand what an obsessive thought feels like. Imagine a song that DRIVES YOU UP A WALL - I mean you HATE THIS SONG. It makes you want to throw up with you hear the first note on the radio and you quickly change the station. Imagine that someone hijacks your car stereo and suddenly the only song that being played is that DETESTABLE SONG, and there is NO OFF button to push, no volume to turn down. Every time you get in your car you hear it at the loudest volume possible with no way of turning it down or even off, no way to even remove that radio from your car or disable it - it just IS that way and there is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING you can do about it - your car is now THAT HORRID SONG! That is an obsessive thought.
I see more posts coming...stay tuned...
They are doing exposure therapy with the patients on "Obsessed", and that is not something I agree with. Do I have coping mechanisms, ABSOLUTELY! But even if one thing ceases to be a compulsive thought or action, it is replaced with another. So the germ-a-phob guy on the show who had no trash cans in his house, no towels in his bathroom was made to do this so his "therapist" could put a dirty tampon in his garbage can, and use his towels. Then he was made to hold the towels. And after 3 months of therapy she told him "You cannot control your thoughts, you cannot control you anxiety, but you can control how you react to it." ABSOLUTELY - I control how I react to mine all the time, I push pause, I stuff it till later - but it is GOING TO COME OUT SOMEHOW. It may not be in a visible way that anyone else can see, I'll just do it in secret. I did it for years, when something I did got to weird for people to deal with, or I was told it was annoying or to stop doing something, I just switched the compulsion. I did something in the presence of other people so they wouldn't see, to bide my time. Then when I was all alone and could be FREE - I did the compulsion I needed to do one, two, three or eight hours ago.
The lady on the show had lost her father in an accident, and she had held onto the clothes he died in. She hid them, only brought them out in private. I have so many things - SILLY THINGS - that I have held onto for years. They mean something to me, it might have been a kleenex used at a funeral or a various other things I am not even willing to share openly on this blog - and do I think OH MY GOODNESS why am I keeping this? YES!!!!!!!!! But I cannot throw it away - I might NEED IT.
My psychiatrist told me when I began to see him he did not believe in behavior modification therapy, that is what they are doing on this show. And now that I know more about my disease I understand why. I have been in therapy for FOUR YEARS learning coping mechanisms - these people did 12 weeks and they are suddenly CURED of their O.C.D.? All this type of therapy does is take away the physical manifesting of a person's anxiety. They may not check a lock 100 x's, they may not wash their hands 40 x's a day, but does that mean the thoughts are not there? I don't think so. Can people be "made" to do things, absolutely - but that doesn't take away the MENTAL torture they have in their minds. And I can tell you all day long that I am fine, great, wonderful - it doesn't mean that I am. I can tell you I am not anxious, and if I train myself to hide all the physical manifestations of anxiety - you won't know that I am anxious - there will be no facial expressions, not checking, no washing rituals - but it is still there - inside my head with no where to go. And just like a container that gets TOO full of water - eventually it will start spilling out - over the sides and EVERYWHERE. And honestly when those are put up feelings and anxiety and emotion - I have no idea how they will then manifest - NO CLUE.
I have a dear husband, who loves me enough to walk this journey with me, and I am incredibly lucky to have him. I had lunch dates, movies and shopping with friends. Parties to go to, had people over for cookouts and holidays. I don't have that anymore. And it is so sad to me that people could not deal with this craziness that is my life, but I understand it. I see how annoying my need to constantly be told that you are not mad at me would be frustrating. That my constant worry that I did something wrong would be annoying. That my need to do things a certain way would be tiring. That my obsession with you as my friend, would be suffocating. But it doesn't make it any easier that I spend most days alone, and no longer have those fun things to look forward to. I am just so thankful that Keith loves me and he is my best friend, and I am his - and that we love to do the same things and even the things we don't have in common we tolerate just to be with one another.
Final thought for the evening - just to try and get you to understand what an obsessive thought feels like. Imagine a song that DRIVES YOU UP A WALL - I mean you HATE THIS SONG. It makes you want to throw up with you hear the first note on the radio and you quickly change the station. Imagine that someone hijacks your car stereo and suddenly the only song that being played is that DETESTABLE SONG, and there is NO OFF button to push, no volume to turn down. Every time you get in your car you hear it at the loudest volume possible with no way of turning it down or even off, no way to even remove that radio from your car or disable it - it just IS that way and there is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING you can do about it - your car is now THAT HORRID SONG! That is an obsessive thought.
I see more posts coming...stay tuned...
Monday, May 25, 2009
Rag'd Purse
I NEVER buy magazines, I mean NEVER. There are too many cool things out there on the internet for FREE inspiration. But a friend of mine, Lynn, had some things published in Crafts N' Things so I picked up a copy with my trusty 40% coupon at Hobby Lobby. As I was browsing through I saw the CUTEST little summer tote, and it was rag'd. See the picture to the left for a sneak peek, and to begin an understanding of what a rag'd purse is. They had combined stamping and other things into this tote, but I thought how fun would it be to just get some cool fabrics and make it into a shoulder bag/purse!
This is the purse after it was all sewn together, basically you sew it with the seams facing out toward you.
Here is a close up of what those seams look like before the rag'ing begins.You need a good pair of micro-tipped scissors. I find the Fiskars Micro Tip spring action scissors to be the best. And I found a great deal at JoAnn's - buy one pair get one free in the same package, and used a 50% off coupon on them!!! Super deal! You simply snip every 1/4" or so on all those seams.
After all the seams have been snipped, you run it through a short wash cycle with no detergent (just to get it wet), and then dry the purse. And this is what the seams will look like then!
Finally a picture of the entire bag completely done!!! This particular tote I made for my best friend for her birthday. She uses it to carry her bible, ipod and book to work with her every day. It is about 18" long x 10" high and about 4" deep.
Tomorrow I will show you the purse I made for myself, and I will talk a little more about picking coordinating fabrics.
Paisley, Cream background Floral, Stripe & Dots are all from Hobby Lobby.
Peacock Feathers & Bold Floral are from a local store here called Carousel Crafts.
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