Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Another day, another obsession

it is so funny how suddenly things become an obsession or a compulsion - at least you THINK it is suddenly. You realized at 31 (well come Sunday - man I hate odd numbers wish I could stay 30) that you have done this something ALL YOUR LIFE, and never reazlied it until now. I do this funny thing with my feet, I knew I did it sometimes, but I realized today I do it WHENEVER I sit still. I just do it, I cannot explain it, I cannot control it - my feet just do this funny little compulsive dance. Doing the same motions over and over and over again. You can TRY to make yourself stop - HA HA HA! But that doesn't work. So I found a kindred spirit online and it made me realized I needed to go in search of others with OCD. So I have found a few things I wanted to share today.

Here is a quote that describes things perfectly:
"Having OCD is like being allergic to life -every waking moment is spent in a state of mental hyper-sensitivity."
This is my life - perfect description.

One is from a website:
I know my hands are clean. I know that I have touched nothing dangerous. But… I doubt my perception.Soon, if I do not wash, a mind numbing, searing anxiety will cripple me. A feeling of stickiness will begin to spread from the point of contamination and I will be lost in a place I do not want to go. So I wash until the feeling is gone, until the anxiety subsides. Then I feel defeated. So I do less and less, my world becomes smaller and smaller and more lonely by the day. You see, you might have touched something and now you are unsafe.This is OCD.

The next quote is from the "I Am Foundation" website:
Sufferers often hide their pain to such a degree that the mental torment experienced effectively becomes a living hell, a prison from which there seems to be no escape.
The quote above describes most of my life growing up. Hiding my OCD. Hiding all those funny little things I do so no one knows HOW WEIRD I really am.

Now on to my next "light-bulb" moment today - and it wasn't so much today, but today was the day I responded. People use the term "OCD" so freely. I am so OCD about this or that. Ok - NO YOU ARE NOT! You might be Obsessive about something, or you might be a perfectionist about something, but you are NOT OCD. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - and it is a mental illness that affects millions of people. So the next time you want to say "I am so OCD about that" rethink the statment and try "I am so ANAL about that" or "I am such a neat/tidy freak". Remember it is not PC to say "That is retarded" anymore - well the same should be said for OCD. If my kindred spirit I met online allows me to I will soon post what she said about OCD on another site. It was very meaningful and touched my heart.

PRAY FOR MY MOM and for ME! She is scheduled to have Total Knee Replacement surgery on her right knee on Friday. She is having a test today to make sure an infection has cleared up and so pray it has. We have planned so much and she has done so much to get ready for this surgery, not to mention that she is worried and scared and wants to get it over with.

Ok I want to start posting all my artistic endeavors here. So I thought I would post some cool stuff that Keith & I embroidered last month.

My purse - I designed the embroidery myself - think it turned out really cute!!!

Baby stuff. We did these for a St. Jude's Charity Auction at Chili's. The bibs were hand-made by Keith's mom - Pam, she is SO TALENTED! And the burps, blankies and onsies you can find at any store. :o)

Ok I am outta here! Have a super day!

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way about how freely the I'm OCD thing gets thrown about. My OCD isn't terrible, I have it mostly under control through therapy and meds and trying to reprogram my behaviors. There are still moments though where you realize that you're doing something you shouldn't because it's the OCD talking and then you begin to feel bad about that on top of the first thing you were obsessing about... at least I do.


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